Another person who has helped me through the journey is Michelle Brown. She is a Mayan Message Therapist here in Austin. I had gone to see her when I found out that Noble was breech. Unfortunately, I was too late to get Noble moved successfully. I went to see her three months after my c-section for a tune up. Her abdominal message made a huge difference for me. Before the message, I wanted to pull the covers over my head and disappear for about a month. I was truly struggling with my moods and depression. During the message I felt a release that is difficult to describe. I felt like it was all the pent up energy that didn't get to be let out when I had a c-section rather than a natural child birth. My family saw an immediate difference in me. It was wonderful.
"Women's Moods" a book by Sichel and Driscoll, was also a huge help. It is a must have and was lent to me by another mom in our group. It is wonderful and full of useful information. The book details symptoms to help you navigate through hormonal and chemical changes in your body so you can help your doctors determine what may be happening. It would be a wonderful world if doctors had all the answers but as the doctors who wrote the book point out, Women's medicine is lacking. Unfortunately, the modern medical movement is just now catching up on Women's brains and hormones and how they work. The old models of treatment are really geared towards men. Taking your mental, emotional and physical health and well being on for the sake of ourselves and our families is so important. Having information to take to the doctor to discuss the possible issues, only helps them to take care of you in an effective and efficient way.
I had planned to use the log in the back of the book and I planned to share it with my doctor but I was able to get things settled before that occurred. In the future, when I run into possible hormonal issues, I will absolutely use the chart and take it in to my doctor for further discussion.
Ultimately, for me it was Chinese medicine and working with a Transformational Life Coach (more on that later) that made the difference for me. Whatever you try, don't give up and know that you are not alone. Motherhood is a huge change for a women and there is really no way to prepare for the changes that it brings to your life or your body. Finding someone to talk to and finding support through this club or through other avenues is vital. If you are experiencing stress or difficulties with motherhood, reach out and be honest. Find ways and make time to take care of yourself.
Thank you for posting your experiences, I really enjoyed reading about them. When I was pregnant with James in 2008, I had prepared for a natural labor, but had an unplanned c-section after a marathon labor of 46 hours, two of which I pushed with no descent. I was really devastated and took a long time to get over the loss of my birth, even though I was in love with my son.
ReplyDeleteWhat really helped me, aside from finding NAMC when James was 4 months old, was the International Cesarean Awareness Network (ICAN). Their website, forums, and seminars gave me a safe place to go where other women understood my grief, and I learned so much more about birth and motherhood there. When I got pregnant again, I knew I wanted a VBAC, and I educated myself with their information so I could have the best birth for my baby.
When Rhys was born in July, it was via another unplanned c-section, but this time, things were on my terms. I had a completely natural labor and all of my wishes were honored, and when he also didn't descend while pushing (most likely due to my scleroderma), my doctor and support team were incredible. Rhys' birth was totally different than James', and I feel completely healed from the sadness I experienced the first time.
ICAN is a great tool for anyone seeking information about cesareans, VBACs, and natural birth. Their website is ican-online.org.
I also have to add that, with my second pregnancy, I switched to OB-GYN North, the practice that uses midwives in the hospital, and that also made a huge difference.
Just wanted to share. Feel free to put my info. on the blog.
I'm still reeling and my last baby is almost 3! Thanks for sharing Danor. I have got to have a night out and look at some of those books.
ReplyDeleteThere is just so much a woman goes through during the child bearing years of her life. Mine has been a roller coaster like you and the above poster. I have had the c-section followed by infection, 2 VBACS, 1 child that was fussy and couldn't eat he had tongue tie and maybe acid reflux, 2 of them just bit me since they couldn't nurse probably.
Estrogen -> Progesterone -> all the other little hormones that go along with ovulation and pregnancy -> Testosterone. Then there is seratonin that mothers who lack sleep lack, eating poorly etc.... It's insane and meanwhile the only thing I was offered was a pill. Not even counseling.
It is a tough road to travel alone and trying to find your way can be difficult. Glad you found methods that work!
Jana
Just wanted to add that my story was the first comment, which Danor graciously posted for me.
ReplyDeleteCatherine